Sunday, November 1, 2009

What is Love?

Do you ever wonder why so many women are obsessed with love? Think about it... as women we spend almost our entire lives dreaming about finding true love, whether it be early on in life or later down the road. Why are women wired with such a strong inner desire to love and be loved?

I was reading blogs tonight and stumbled across The Fabulous Life of Jules {very cute, I must say- new follow}. She had a post about when you love someone. What do you think about this?

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

I don't know how I feel about this. It talks about not living in the past or for the future- but in the present. Is that safe? Why not look back at sweet memories? And obviously I believe that you shouldn't look forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation.

I have no idea what to believe about love these days. I think I understand it; actually- I know I understand it. But then again... how can I believe in love after I was lied to for so long? If that wasn't the real thing... then I can only wonder what is the real thing?

I love this quote. And it is SO true.
We can spend our lives hoping someone will find us beautiful, smart, funny, and worthy of great love. Then we can find ourselves disappointed that no one ever really comes through. We may wind up pretending it really doesn't matter. It turns ...out that the longing to be called beautiful was put there by God. And He is the only one who can ever give you the answer.
{Angela Thomas}

1 comment:

Jules said...

I'm sorry you're going through some of the "ebbs and flows" if this crazy world and the crazy thing we call love. I see you were planning a wedding and it didn't happen. I'm sorry, sending you some hugs!

I think the single phrase "living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now." is the key. Love changes, relationships grow, WE change and grow. So it's only natural that love will too.

I posted that because it spoke to me big time. My husband and I are approaching our 1 year anniversary. In one short year, our relationship is TOTALLY different. I'm having a hard time with it, I keep saying "Where's the Greg I married" and "What happened to the relationship I was in 10 months ago." Now that it's necessarily bad now... it's just... different. And that's tough.

I'm following you now. So hopefully we will be chatting some more (=