Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Dating Do's and Don'ts

Over the months, I have been out with a few guys, some dates and some not. However, after hanging out with someone recently, I came home furious about the quality {or lack of} of the conversation at dinner.

While I am in no way looking to date someone right now, I thought I would gather my thoughts and put together a dating do and dating don'ts list for your enjoyment...

Dating Do Not's:
- Do not cut me off mid conversation repeatedly only to interject with your own story that rivals mine. Since when did conversation become a competition?
- Do not make inappropriate jokes. Its disrespectful. There are only a select few people in my life who I think it's funny when they make inappropriate jokes... you have not made the cut.
- Do not ask me to entertain you. If I'm not talking to you, there is probably a reason why.
- Do not... I repeat: DO NOT call me high maintenance. If you want to show me what high maintenance is, it would be my pleasure to do so. I maintain myself well, but I am not high maintenance.
- Do not fall off the face of the earth then come back when it's convenient for you. This is called "taking advantage" and it's not appreciated. It's frustrating, disappointing and hurtful.
- Do not play the jealousy game. It seriously is the ugliest trait and not welcomed. If there is an issue, I am open to talk about it. 

Dating Do's:
- Do suggest a fun activity, and no... you don't have to drop the benjamins for us to have a good time. Let's go for a walk at the park, cook dinner at home, read together at Starbucks, hike, play a board game or go for a drive to explore a local town. Granted, I just suggested things that I personally like, but I also suggested things that should probably cost below $15 total... which means most guys can appreciate the suggestion.
- Do hold the door for me and for others.
- Do ask me questions; don't leave the conversation for me to lead. I'm a pretty good conversationalist and will respond to your conversation appropriately.
- Do interact with my friends (but telling me that they are hot isn't cool).
- Do make sure I'm safe. This is something I appreciate about a dear friend of mine; regardless of whether I am traveling 6 hours or 20 minutes, he always follows up with me to make sure I made it to my destination safely. My dad does the same thing... it shows me you care and I appreciate this gesture more than I let on.
- Do respect my past. That's all it is, a past... but I still have insecurities because of it.
- Do be honest with me. I can handle it, I assure you.
- Do make me laugh; I appreciate so much the guys in my life who go out of their way to make me laugh. 

These are simply based on past experiences and observations that I have made of things that I appreciate and things that I find disrespectful or irritating. Granted, I am no dating expert and these are just my general thoughts. I have some great men in my life now that I am so thankful for... the list of traits that I admire and appreciate in each of them are endless.

Do you have dating do's and don'ts? 
I would love to hear them in a comment!


Little Miss Paige said...

Hehe, I just did a post like this a little bit ago. Apparently boys just can't get the clue. I don't like it when boys ask me on a second date DURING a first date. I feel obligated to say yes even if I really want to say no.

Little Miss Paige

(soon to be) Mrs. G said...

Ohh girrrllll. I can't even imagine!! It's weird, but I never really 'dated'. Boys=dumb, even when you marry them. Then they're just cute and clueless, but it works out.

Jax said... I might be in a serious relationship now, but believe me... I've had my share of dating stories before Eric... Yowza. The "make sure I'm safe" thing is SO important to me. It's just a sweet gesture a guy can do. If someone drives off without making sure I got in okay, all bets are off. And oooooh how I HATE "toppers"- That's what I call people who have to always TOP your story with something. Like.. you had the flu? well, they had pneumonia. You went to Texas? They went to Greece. It's like "I get it. Whatever." Another don't for me is being rude to servers, etc. That's a MAJOR no no. And I agree on the high maintenance thing. I wanna be like "Um, b/c I shower frequently, like makeup and heels, I am NOT high maintenance. I could introduce you to some high maintenance people, bucko." hahaha... :)

Another for me is "Do let me offer to pay, but DONT let me do least on the first and second dates..."

Oh so many dating do's and don'ts! Ooooh and "Do not text during our date. Do NOT. Or if you have to, explain "so sorry...that was my mom/friend/etc waiting on information from me.. "

Jax said...

(wow I just wrote a novel. Sorry...haha)

Double Your Dating said...

Always do make sure I'm safe. This is something I appreciate about a dear friend of mine; regardless of whether I am traveling 6 hours or 20 minutes, he always follows up with me to make sure I made it to my destination safely.

Lacey in the City said...

These are great! When I first moved to NYC, I dated a ton before I met MPD, and boy did I have some gems for ya.

DO NOT try to make out with me in the cab ride from dinner to the wine bar.

DO NOT try to hold my hand - especially by way of pulling it out of my purse to hold it while I am in the midst of digging for my Metrocard to get away from you.

DO NOT tell me you had a wonderful first date and would love to see me again soon and never call. A simple "thanks I had a nice time" would suffice if you plan on never seeing me again.

DO NOT booty call me at 6 am just hours after we met. And do not follow that up with a lie about how it wasn't a booty call, just an invite to hang out. At 6 am? After all the drinks you saw me and my girlfriends having? RIGHT.