Contentment, Pt 2

I had an entire post written out about contentment, pt 2. I was putting the finishing touches on it.

Then I found this sticky note on my computer from my sister from a year ago:

Dear SIssy,

I know one day you are going to want to clear this account. I know it is going to be really really hard for you. I just want you to know how much i love and care for you. You are one of the most amazinng people i know.

Please never forget that or let anyone make you think differently.

Love,

Ana

And then I bawled.

I was using my "old account", the account I used for all my wedding planning on my computer tonight because the internet wouldn't connect on my normal account. I've been slowly deleting pictures, files, documents from this account...

I love my Sister. I cannot begin to tell you how much she got me through the worst time of my life to date. She loved me the way a little sister loves her big sister. She slept with me to keep me company. She dragged me out of the house to go for a ride. She listened to me and watched me cry daily. For months.

I miss her dearly. I need to be physically close to her again...

{circa 2008}

I can't stop crying. I think I'll keep this on my computer for a while.